taking care

Last night I took care of things:
ME in the form of working out, stretching and doing my doctor prescribed exercises
MY PLANTS by watering them (finally, they were thirsty!)
MY FAMILY by cooking dinner and walking the hound
Just like on an airplane, when the flight attendant says to put your mask on first, then assist your child or whoever, I attended to ME first, and thus was able to be helpful, useful, loving and present for and to other entities.

B--r--e--a--t--h--e

I go out walkin'

My fitness bracelet band is set to vibrate every forty-five minutes of idle time, reminding me to get up and move! Well, this week I actually decided to pay attention to it. I zigzag through the warehouse for a couple minutes before I go back and sit for another stretch. I have to say, it's a good thing! This practice, as well as an after-work, hound-free walk, means I have been more easily making my daily goal of approximately 5 miles a day. Hooray! I guess it's easier to do than I thought.

Should, a dirty word

I just read an article from a yoga instructor about the concept of always questioning "what should I be doing?" This is a constant question in my mind. More like "Shouldn't I be doing (x)?"

Is it always about keeping up with the Jones' or do I just need motivation, or guidelines? Or is it a question that is merely holding me back from the real questions - what does my heart say? what does my heart pull me to do? where? why? -Is it possible to put my judgement of the answers on hold, so that the answers actually come?

I feel like the problem is I don't trust myself. It may be in part because I am open-minded enough, that I always see 2-sides to everything. So even arriving at a clear decision is very difficult. Or is it that I have regrets from past decisions, where at the time, I WAS sure of something. Then given a little time, I hate that decision, or I'm embarrassed. Think of some of the fashion choices in the 80s for example. And the 90s. Everyone makes mistakes, I guess the key is to accept who you are, what you do at the time, and when you look back, and make a judgement, you own that choice, and laugh at those horrible pants, or accept it/them as part of what makes you YOU today. My example is pants, but I'm really talking about important decisions (or lack there of). hmmmmm….

My morning started off rocky, with a personal outburst (of sorts), then nearly rear-ending someone on the way to work because I was in my own angry world. I am changing the course of my day RIGHT NOW, by the power of a decision. I'm shaking off the rocky start, and will have a good day, from this second forward. So there.

Back to "should" .. I am going to work on rephrasing my intentions in life, without the word SHOULD. I am going to start saying the thing, and not saying that I should be doing the thing. If I take it out of my vocabulary, maybe the concept will eventually just drop out of my head and my heart. I can live a should-free life, and just do.