True, true

taking care

Last night I took care of things:
ME in the form of working out, stretching and doing my doctor prescribed exercises
MY PLANTS by watering them (finally, they were thirsty!)
MY FAMILY by cooking dinner and walking the hound
Just like on an airplane, when the flight attendant says to put your mask on first, then assist your child or whoever, I attended to ME first, and thus was able to be helpful, useful, loving and present for and to other entities.

B--r--e--a--t--h--e

I go out walkin'

My fitness bracelet band is set to vibrate every forty-five minutes of idle time, reminding me to get up and move! Well, this week I actually decided to pay attention to it. I zigzag through the warehouse for a couple minutes before I go back and sit for another stretch. I have to say, it's a good thing! This practice, as well as an after-work, hound-free walk, means I have been more easily making my daily goal of approximately 5 miles a day. Hooray! I guess it's easier to do than I thought.

Should, a dirty word

I just read an article from a yoga instructor about the concept of always questioning "what should I be doing?" This is a constant question in my mind. More like "Shouldn't I be doing (x)?"

Is it always about keeping up with the Jones' or do I just need motivation, or guidelines? Or is it a question that is merely holding me back from the real questions - what does my heart say? what does my heart pull me to do? where? why? -Is it possible to put my judgement of the answers on hold, so that the answers actually come?

I feel like the problem is I don't trust myself. It may be in part because I am open-minded enough, that I always see 2-sides to everything. So even arriving at a clear decision is very difficult. Or is it that I have regrets from past decisions, where at the time, I WAS sure of something. Then given a little time, I hate that decision, or I'm embarrassed. Think of some of the fashion choices in the 80s for example. And the 90s. Everyone makes mistakes, I guess the key is to accept who you are, what you do at the time, and when you look back, and make a judgement, you own that choice, and laugh at those horrible pants, or accept it/them as part of what makes you YOU today. My example is pants, but I'm really talking about important decisions (or lack there of). hmmmmm….

My morning started off rocky, with a personal outburst (of sorts), then nearly rear-ending someone on the way to work because I was in my own angry world. I am changing the course of my day RIGHT NOW, by the power of a decision. I'm shaking off the rocky start, and will have a good day, from this second forward. So there.

Back to "should" .. I am going to work on rephrasing my intentions in life, without the word SHOULD. I am going to start saying the thing, and not saying that I should be doing the thing. If I take it out of my vocabulary, maybe the concept will eventually just drop out of my head and my heart. I can live a should-free life, and just do.

Positive

I have a new goal. I've realized how negative I've been lately under the false pretense that focusing in on how crappy things are will back me so far into a corner, that I will be forced to make big changes and decisions in order to make things better. Well, that seems to have manifested into ongoing physical pain I can't seem to release, as well as an overall unpleasantness. If I were friends with me, I might have avoided me. I don't want to be that person. AND, it hasn't helped. Or maybe it has in that I've decided that the opposite attitude will release the pain, and the bitter feelings of being stuck. I'm done with it. I think taking on a positive attitude will help make the changes I want to see in my life, and specifically in my career.
I spent 2 hours this weekend working on my resume. These are the steps I need to take to get me out. And -bonus- just doing some of the work, taking a first step has made me feel so much better. I feel like there's hope for a better future, I have options, I'm not stuck. I'm not done, I'm not there yet, but I'm on the path to getting there. Sometimes just strapping on your gym shoes and plugging in your ipod makes you feel better, even before you get out there to hike!
My back had been locked up for a solid 5 weeks. Lots of stretching, chiropractor visits, ice and herbal patches have done some good. But I also tried acupuncture this week, and feel much better. I'm convinced that the physical pain and tension that my body has been holding onto has been partly due to the former bad attitude. Not only has the acupuncture released some of the physical pain, I think it has further enforced, if not been responsible for, my change in attitude. I am open to the idea that releasing tension, clearing physical and emotional blockages will pave the way for positive energy in my body (no pain) and positive energy in my career and relationships.
Peace, love, happiness and positive energy.

Gentle. Calm. Necessary. Natural.

Fixing to practice yoga 4 out of 4 days this week.